kim you have to stick with it my love,
as ems says you will still have your bad days as well as your good days,it will sometimes feel like you are going backwards, but thats were you have to try to be strong and you can be i know you can...
its early days yet but with time you are going to get through it believe me..
here's a few more hugs...i hope they help..

jan xx

Thanks a lot Ems and Jan I know that if I try, I can do this I have my next session on Monday and I'm going to go to the session and tell her exactly what has happened and hopefully she will be able to help me. I phoned her up and she said that it's perfectly normal to feel like I'm going backwards and as long as I am trying, I will begin to feel better. I completely lost my appetite again though and my throat felt really tight and it hurt to swallow, but I made sure that I had some food, although it wasn't much, I am just glad that I managed to eat something.
I just wish that it would go away. I just feel lucky that I have people there for me. Today I went to my boyfriends and everyone was nice to me. I talked to his mum and brother for hours, which was great. It really took my mind off things
But now that I am back home, it's beginning to feel worse again
xx

Hey kim, you can definately do this and you will. Keep eating when u can and you will come through this, glad you were able to take your mind off things today, just try and stay positive. You have our full support, and can talk any time you feel you need to.
Chin up.

xx

Thank you for that Bex I really needed to hear that. Sometimes I feel so lonely, but then I just have to think about all of the people in my life who are trying there hardest for me and I know everything is going to be fine. Everyone on the forum is being so lovely and supportive. It's been such an amazing help!
xxxx

hi kim...
.thats what friends are for...
jan xx

Sometimes different surroundings help, so rather than go back home, try and stay at your boyfriends for a night or two. Sometimes tht's al you need, is a change of scenery. Don't give up now, as we all know on here that you can do it, and we will always be here for you.

Yeah, I have been doing that
I spent the weekend at my boyfriends house. I'd much rather be there than at home at the moment! hehe
Thanks for the kind words
xx

You are welcome. Is there no way you can move in permanently?

Kim, Dont ever forget, we are here for you. we understand what you are going through as some of us have been there ourselves. Sometime you will feel like nothing is going to help you but you must perservere with the coucilling, You will sometimes think "oh whats the point in fighting this depression, I might as well end it all" I know that because I have been there myself as have alot of us on here but trust me it is not the answer. talking helps alot so you must'nt try to hide yourself away thinking no-body wants to know. We're your friends on here and we love and care about you. Supporting you all the way. All my love Michelle XXXXX

Sadly I can't move in yet. I have been told that whenever I need to just get out of the house, I can go there but I can't move in. When I can afford to pay my share of the rent though, hopefully I will be able to move in. I really like being there

Thank you for the help Michelle. I know what you mean about feeling like it is easier to just end it all, because I do sometimes think that all of the struggling isn't worth it, but I know that is a silly thing to think because once I get over this anxiety, I know that I have a wonderful life to live. Thank you all so much for helping me through this.

I want to apologise for not coming on here as much lately. It's just that my counciller advised me to try and do other things, and to go onto the computer less so I have been reading more and doing revision for exams.

xxxxx

I can see the CH4 ed coming on here again soon, giving guidance. Ooops

quote:

Originally posted by OMGitsKIM:
Sadly I can't move in yet. I have been told that whenever I need to just get out of the house, I can go there but I can't move in. When I can afford to pay my share of the rent though, hopefully I will be able to move in. I really like being there

Thank you for the help Michelle. I know what you mean about feeling like it is easier to just end it all, because I do sometimes think that all of the struggling isn't worth it, but I know that is a silly thing to think because once I get over this anxiety, I know that I have a wonderful life to live. Thank you all so much for helping me through this.

I want to apologise for not coming on here as much lately. It's just that my counciller advised me to try and do other things, and to go onto the computer less so I have been reading more and doing revision for exams.

xxxxx

Oh Im So Sorry To Hear That Kim
Listen I Kno What Your Going Through Too Along With Many Others

If I Was You I Would Not Let It Beat You Up
Your A Really Nice Person To Talk Too

And Id Continue On What The Councilling Girl Says
And Keep Your Head Up High And Think Positive

And Staying At Your Boyfriends Will Help

If I Was Beside You Id Give You A Great Big Hug
But This Will Have To Do

If YoU Need A Proper Chat U Know Where To Find Me

Thanks for the kind words.
I'm still not much better today. My throat has been tight all day and I've had to try many of the relaxation techniques but nothing has worked in a major way. I've still got no appetite. I haven't eaten much, and my tight throat makes even drinking a struggle. I've only got to wait a little while 'til I go to the doctors though, so hopefully he will help me. I got a reply from my counciller telling me to keep an Anxiety Diary saying what I was feeling and how bad my anxiety was and which ways it affected me. I have to do it every hour. I feel so terrible. I cried a lot today. I went to my boyfriends instead of going to College, and to be honest I don't know if it has helped. I feel trapped again.

I'm going to attempt to eat something soon, but the counciller said not to put any pressure on myself and not to force myself to eat. All that I've eaten today is a banana, apple, some mini hob nobs, soup and 2 custard creams, which actually sounds like quite a lot, but I guess I'm worried because of my throat and the fact that it is stopping me from eating. My counciller just said that once the anxiety begins to pass I will eventually find it easier to eat, so even if I only eat a tiny amount of food at the moment it's nothing to worry about, and it's something that a lot of people who suffer from anxiety go through.

My boyfriends mum was really nice and supportive. I didn't want to come home at all!

If anyone has any relaxation methods which I can use then I would really appreciate it as I am terrified. Thanks for reading!

xxx

Any help would be very much appreciated as I am struggling to eat my cereal
My throat is too tight!!

xxx

Aww im reil sorry to hear ur nt much better today Kim n that ur throat is tight, as ive said previously i dnt think ive suffered from anxiety bt i did go through a stage where i has a tight chest and throat i put it dwn to my asthma bt that normally just affects my chest n nt my throat so nw lookin bk i think it was due to stress of all my GCSE work n exams i had to do, i dnt reli no any thing that helps exactly n it will sound strange bt i used to put my toungue to the roof of my mouth n then jsut take deep breathes n that sumhow seemed to help i have no idea y tho as that just makes u breathe out of the 2 corners of ur mouth bt sumhow it helped!
Its great that ur still managin to eat sumthin even if its only sumthin small ur still tryin.
I reli hope that u feel better soon, keep ur chin up n im always here for u to talk things through!
Take care of urself n i no its so hard bt try to stay positive i will be thinkin of u! x x x

Thank you so much for that advice Maria. I will definitely try that technique tonight to help me go to sleep. I've just forced down the last of my cereal and now my throat is hurting so much that I can't drink. At least I've eaten though. I just hope that this goes away soon. Thank you for replying to me Maria
I was beginning to feel really worried and upset.
xxxx

Thats ok, anytime Kim. I reli hope it does go away very soon so that u are able to eat and drink alot easier, have u tried usin a straw to drink through that way u can take as lil sips as u want n it may help u to drink a bit easier.

hi kim, hi maria..

sorry you've not been too good today kim..
your councilor is right..try not to get so stressed about what you are eating..it will not do you any harm as long as you just try small amounts at a time..you wont starve i promise
i am pretty certain crying is a good release too,as bottling things up is much worse..
i know its hard for you but you must keep telling yoursef you are going to get through it..
i read this quote, supposed to of been said by richard nixon.. but it is so true...
it goes..."only someone whoes been to the deepest valley can know what it means to stand on the highest mountain"..
you are going to get to stand on the highest mountain some day soon kim..just keep strong and you'll get there sooner than you think..

chin up..i am thinking of you too all the time..

jan xx

Hey Jan!

Yea Jan is very right Kim u will get through this that quote is so true n u will get there, wen u go through sumthin like this u dnt think u will beat it bt i no u will, so stay strong as u seem to have been!

Thanks for the kind words. I've been needing to hear that.
Yeah, I hope that I don't starve because that seems to be really scaring me. It makes my anxiety worse.
The counciller said that she has had a lot of her clients have exactly the same sort of anxiety cycle so I guess I feel much better that I am not on my own. I just need to try to be patient.
Yeah, when I cry I do feel like it's a little bit of a release. I couldn't handle this as much if I hadn't cried. My boyfriend has been so very patient and kind, constantly reassuring me. He said to me "you only need to worry if you don't eat anything at all. As long as you are eating, even if it is only a little bit, you will be okay" and he promises me. I guess I just seem to still get worried.
Yeah I have tried using a straw Maria and it does work better Thanks for the tip.
xxx

Hiya Kim,

I am very proud of you for coming this far, You are a strong person and I have faith and confidence in you that you WILL beat this. we are her for you so dont ever forget that. With you all the way XXXXXXX Love Michelle

No dnt worry bout ur eating, ur boyfriend is right as long as ur eating sumthin then u will be fine n it sounds like u are.
Your boyfriend sounds lovely frm wat uve said he seems very supportive n thats great.
Thats ok, i wish i had other tips to say to u so im able to help u more. x

Hiya Michelle.

Thanks for that. I've been feeling very afraid lately, and worried that this wont go away, but it's kind of nice to know that I have the support of everyone on the forum. I really don't know what I will ever be able to do to thank you all!

XXXXXXXXX

You will always have our support we're always here for u. You dnt need to do anythin to thank us, personally i