quote:

heeee it was funny i liked the bit about Jesus always talking in parables

ha ha yeah

"jesus, hey, jesus - do you want to get a pint in? it's just about to close...
i saw a fox cooking eggs
oh no, not this again..."

Jack: When I get home, I'm buying an HPT and so help me if that stick is blue ...

Karen: I stared death in the face and it was ugly. (looks at Rosario). Aaah, there it is again.

ah i loved will and grace last night - but i didnt get to see the end? what happened and what were the great jokes? i had to go to dinner

When did you stop watching it?

when grace was making leo look in his bag.

OK

[LEO HAS JUST ARRIVED HOME.]
GRACE: Sweetie, you're home. Come on. Unpack your bag. Make sure your passport's there, along with your other stuff-- underwear, letters, whatever.
LEO: Later, later. I--I had a bumpy landing. It kinda, you know, got me in the mood.
[LEO RAISES HIS EYEBROWS.]
GRACE: Oh. Oh, oh, okay. Well, you know what gets me in the mood?
LEO: What's that?
[GRACE PUTS LEO'S DUFFEL BAG ON HIS LAP.]
GRACE: Knowing that my man has proper international travel documentation. [GROWLS]
LEO: Okay, okay, I'll--I'll--I'll-- I'll look.
[LEO UNZIPS HIS BAG.]
LEO: [PULLING OUT THE LETTER] What's this?
GRACE: Hmm, looks like a letter.
LEO: It's a letter.
GRACE: That's what I thought too.
LEO: It's from Dr. Morty.
GRACE: Dr. Morty?
LEO: Why is, uh, why is she writing me? [READS THE LETTER TO HIMSELF] Hello. Wow. Oh, man. Man--whew, man. Yeah, it's my itinerary. [FOLDS UP THE LETTER.]
GRACE: It is not! Is it?! I don't know!
LEO: Grace, you, uh, you--you obviously read it.
GRACE: And thank God! She wants you, Leo.
LEO: But I don't-- I don't want her.
GRACE: Please. You're two hot people down in the sunny tropics with nothing else to do but have sex. I know. I've been to Daytona twice.
LEO: Grace, Doctors Without Borders is there to prevent an entire population from being annihilated by infectious diseases.
GRACE: Yeah, for, like, 20 minutes a day. Then it's "doctors without bottoms."
LEO: Sweetie, she's nothing to me. And by the way, in-in-in the future, if you're gonna go through my things, just try to be a little bit more thorough.
[LEO PULLS A PHOTO BOOK OUT OF HIS DUFFEL BAG AND HANDS IT TO GRACE.]
GRACE: These are all pictures of me.
LEO: Yeah.
GRACE: My eyes are closed in all of them.
LEO: That's because you're asleep. I-I-I took them before I left, because I can't sleep unless you're asleep next to me.
GRACE: Oh. That is so sweet. [GRACE HUGS LEO] And so creepy.
[GRACE KISSES LEO ON THE CHEEK.]
LEO: So are you okay?
GRACE: Yeah. I'm fine.
LEO: You know, all I could think about since I left was one of your home cooked meals.
GRACE: [SMILING] Hmm.
LEO: So let's go upstairs and have sex.
GRACE: Then we'll spend all day tomorrow in bed.
LEO: Oh, oh, baby, baby, I can't. I have an early flight.
GRACE: You're leaving? No, you just got here.
LEO: I know, but they're expecting me back. Look, I-- I'm gonna go jump in the shower. You put on the panties I got you for Passover, and I'll meet you in the bedroom.
[LEO RUNS UP THE STAIRS. GRACE SIGHS.]



SCENE V: Will's Apartment
[WILL IS PREPARING A PLATE OF CHEESE WHEN JACK ENTERS.]
JACK: [NERVOUSLY] Hi. I need to talk to you just for a second.
WILL: [NERVOUSLY] Good, 'cause I-I-I... need to talk to you too.
[WILL AND JACK SIT ON THE SOFA.]
[AWKWARD SILENCE.]
WILL: So--
JACK: Yeah.
WILL: Hmm. I, um, I discovered a new cheese over the weekend. Cowgirl Creamery. You want to try some?
[WILL HOLDS OUT THE CHEESE PLATE.]
JACK: I would. [EATS A PIECE OF CHEESE] Mmm. This Cowgirl Creamery is a very good cheese.
WILL: Thank you. [MOTIONING TO JACK'S SHIRT] That's a nice top.
JACK: Thanks. Just got it.
WILL: Hm.
WILL AND JACK: [TOGETHER] I'm not interested in you.
WILL AND JACK: [TOGETHER] No, I'm not inteststed in you.
WILL AND JACK: [TOGETHER] No, I'm not interested in you!
WILL: What are you doing?!
JACK: I'm letting you down easy!
WILL: Nuh-uh! If anyone's letting anyone down easy, I'm letting down you.
JACK: And yet you're wooing me with soft cheeses and compliments to the top.
WILL: Jack, come on. This clearly meant more to you than it did to me because, well, look at me.
JACK: I am, and I'm looking at a forehead with teeth.
WILL: Jack, you have feelings for me. How else do you explain constantly offering to spot me at the gym?
JACK: That's what you do at the gym.
WILL: In the sauna?
JACK: Look, if anyone has feelings for anyone, it's you for me. Signing us up for a tango class. Signing us up for a cooking class. Everyone knows you express your love through the dance and the bake.
WILL: Let's just forget about who has more of a thing for whom.
JACK: [QUIETLY] You for me.
WILL: I said forget it! Whatever happened on that boat wouldn't have happened unless there was something lurking in our relationship for a long time. Something we--we need to start dealing with honestly.
JACK: So is that what we're doing now? We're just being honest?
WILL: I think we have to if there's any hope of getting past this.
JACK: [SIGHS] Well, if we're being honest, I guess I'd be lying if I said I never...
WILL: And I'd by lying if I said I never...
KAREN: [ENTERING] Wilma, take off your homo hat and put on your lawyer hat. That damn Rosario saved my life again!
KAREN: You know how I'm in a gang, right? [SIGHS]
KAREN: [TALKING VERY QUICKLY] Well, I flashed my colors in the wrong neighborhood and suddenly I'm surrounded. I'm about to take a cap to the dome when Rosie screeches up in the limo, pulls me in and guns it. Now she wants her day off and a pizza party with the maids. So, get me out of it. Oh, by the way, every room in the boat is under video surveillance. I took a look at the tape and nothing happened between you guys, just the occasional gas and some soft weeping. Whew, there's a lot of caffeine in a Red Bull! See ya!
[KAREN EXITS.]
WILL: So... Nothing happened.
JACK: Nothing happened.
WILL: Nothing happened.
JACK: [IN A HIGH VOICE] Nothing happened!
WILL: Oh, thank god that weirdness is over.
JACK: Oh, thank god.
[WILL AND JACK HUG.]
[AN AWKWARD PAUSE, THEN THE TWO SEPARATE.]
[Talking simultaneously very fast]



SCENE VI: Grace and Leo's Apartment

[THE NEXT MORNING. LEO IS GETTING READY TO LEAVE.]
GRACE: Leo, come on. You're gonna miss your plane. I'm gonna miss you.
LEO: I'm gonna miss you too.
[LEO AND GRACE KISS.]
LEO: Oh, I almost forgot. I wrote you a letter. [LEO HANDS GRACE AN ENVELOPE] But don't read it. You have to wait until you go to bed tonight.
GRACE: Of course.
LEO: No, no, no. I'm--I'm serious. This is really important to me. I want this to be the last thing you see before you fall asleep.
GRACE: Okay, the first time I agreed, I was lying. But now that I know it's really important, I'm really gonna do it.
LEO: Okay. Now come here. Put some of that stank on me.
[LEO AND GRACE KISS.]
GRACE: Call me the second you get there. Okay.
LEO: Bye.
GRACE: Be safe.
LEO: Okay.
[LEO PICKS UP HIS BAG AND EXITS.]
[GRACE SLOWLY WALKS OFF INTO THE BATHROOM.]
GRACE: Who am I kidding?
[SUDDENLY SHE RUNS OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND TO THE COUCH AND GRABS THE LETTER. SHE READS IT.]
LEO'S VOICE [NARRATING THE LETTER]: "Dear Grace, I can't believe I'm saying good-bye to you again. Last night, I was watching you sleep. And, well, it just made me realize it's so much better than sleeping next to a picture. If you're reading this, you're probably in your nightgown ready to crawl into bed... or it's been 30 seconds and you're in the same outfit because you can't follow a simple instruction. Either way, I'm not leaving. I'm giving up Doctors Without Borders. I'm on the other side of the door."
GRACE: [CONFUSED] What?
[THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.]
LEO: [VOICE FROM OUTSIDE] I'm on the other side of the door.
[GRACE OPENS THE DOOR.]
GRACE: Oh, my God. Are you sure? I don't want you to do this for me.
LEO: I'm--I'm doing it for us.
GRACE: Why did you do the whole letter thing? Why didn't you just tell me in person? [GRACE HITS LEO ON THE ARM.]
LEO: Well, 'cause-- 'cause you tend to, uh, to hit when you get excited.
GRACE: No, I don't. I can't believe you're staying! [GRACE SMACKS LEO ON THE CHEST.]



SCENE VII: Will's Apartment

[WILL AND KAREN ARE DISCUSSING HER LEGAL PROBLEMS.]
KAREN: So what are you sayin', counselor? There's nothin' I can do?
WILL: I'm sorry. You and Rosario have a verbal agreement, and you have to live up to it.
KAREN: But I just saved her life.
WILL: Holding a toaster over the bathtub and not dropping it is not saving her life.
KAREN: Oh, all right. She can have her damn day off and her pizza party. But no sleepovers. And no correspondence with her family!

yayyyy! thanks hope! what genius that programme is. and you beat ria (just) with the biggest quotage posting on this thread.

No problem, it's from a transcript website which is really good. I try not to read future transcripts but sometimes I just can't help myself

SPOILER: (Example: Karen's wedding at the end of this season.)

LJ - Haa haa. Yeah I think Hope beat me by one line or something LOL.

"I was 27 years old when I first died." - The Jacket.

Ooooh I lurrrve Black Books! Although I haven't watched it in ages. I've only watched the first series.

i am so happy will and grace and scubs are back! two really great shows... plus it reminds of those lovely evenings where we had friends, will and grace and scrubs...

i love that with the friends quotes, even though i know them all off by heart, they still make me laugh just reading them...

quote:

"I was 27 years old when I first died." - The Jacket.

Did Keira Knightley say that in her deep american accent?!

Some more Friends classics....

Chandler: What are these? Raisins?
Eddie: Yeah, why not.

Joey: I thought it would be really good, y'know. Spend time alone with my thoughts. But I don't have as many thoughts as you think!

Eddie: Tell me you want me to leave!
Chandler: I WANT YOU TO LEAVE!
Eddie: No, no, no. I wanna hear it from your lips.
Chandler: Where did you hear it from before?!?

Monica: I will give you this right now if you tell me where we keep the dustpan!
Rachel: Urgh!!!!!!!!!

Ross: So your telling me there's nothing animal between us? Not even a small animal. Not even like....chipmunk sex?!?

grace: "What would we have done if there had been someone out there?"

will: "I don't know - grate some cheese with your toenails and invite them in for quiche??"

Ha ha, great quote

aha and more:

"I wouldn't say I'm a heart-throb. I just have a weird job." Johnny Depp

bob mortimer: (holding up a coconut) can you tell me what this is?
ulrika johnson: it's a coconut
bob: no, it's a bear's egg.

i miss shooting stars - what a load of funny crap.

Shooting Stars was great

quote:

Shooting Stars was great

i know! gotta love:

"Gin! Gin! Gin!"

and the "ERANU!"

quote:

Did Keira Knightley say that in her deep american accent?!

Haaa haaa! No hers was something like: "Get outta my house!!!!!!! Get outta my house.....get outta my house.....get outta my house..."
I thought I was in a frickin' cave with all the echos.

I did like the bit at the end when theres a flashback of her going 'How much time do we have?' and then the ending song on the credits is 'We have all, the time, in the world....' dunno what its called but it was a sweet song, I've heard it before but just can't remember the name.

ooh another one

abby (O.S.): ow!
kid: grandma! grandma! uncle charlie bit the nurse!

Sandy: Since the minute you were born, I knew I would never take another easy breath without knowing that you were all right.
Seth: So I'm like asthma?


Jimmy: Don't you remember when we were kids? No one could keep us apart.
Julie: Ok, first of all: it is not the same thing. Second of all: am I the gardener in this scenario? I think not.
Jimmy: My parents threatened to cut me off if I didn't break up with you.
Julie: You never told me that.
Jimmy: Why hurt your feelings?
Julie: What did you tell them?
Jimmy: I told them to go to hell. I told them I was in love with you. I was.
Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: Jules, come on, you're still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.

Ryan: So how long you been with him?
Marissa: Luke? Um... I don't know really.
Seth: I know. Fifth grade, when you two got your mack on, during our class trip, to the Museum of Tolerance at the back of the bus. Classy lady.

ex: [to Jodie and Seth] I would have introduced you guys, but I didn't want you to meet.

and some more from Dylan Moran:

(on the subject of hooded teens): when I'm walking past a group of them, I find myself, in my pockets, putting my keys in between my fingers so if I do have to punch them, I'll F-----G KILL 'EM!

Clare!! I LOVE that episode toooo!!! I love when Phoebe putt he big christmas bow on!!