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Woohoo! There are very few of us about, I think!  D'you prefer him Five or solo?
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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quote: Camouflaged feet in a torrent of sand
Material fibre warming your bones
A stone leaves your hand,
So pleasantly round.
Cutting through breezes and skimming a wave,
It cracks a line though the truth,
Indenting the sand.
Collisions of sand against water; head against heart
Movement occurs beneath this facade
A scuttle of elements; a movement of shape
Emotions evaporate as a wave hits the shore
Her hand moves to yours
Delicately, it intertwines
Searching for warmth
Connecting with you.
Collisions of sand against water; head against heart
So much to know, so little seen
A girl so small, watching a storm
A father so proud, protecting her soul
Her childhood moment
As she watches the sea
The salty winds and biting waves
Of a storm that stole her mother.
Feedback, please?
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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Thanks.  Most people prefer him Five, too. Well, older fans, certainly.
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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It's nice, Becks. I think I'll have to read it another couple of times, as I'm not entirely sure what it's about, but that's good. I like poetry that hides its meanings. The line repeition of "Collisions of sand against water; head against heart" is good, and the line "A scuttle of elements" is terrific. Nice work. Ends a bit suddenly, but then if it's said what you want it to say, why not.
"Someone's got to fight the good fight."
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Thankyou Mickey. You've just made my day, y'know?
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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*Is worried about Becky's day*
"Someone's got to fight the good fight."
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Hehe. Well, it was kinda dull...  Nah, it was a reasonably good day. I read some Hemingway, remember?! You just made it better... *backs off*
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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Did I never comment on this? I thought I must've. Excellent work, becky. very atmospheric. very descriptive. (put it in the community !! we have another person! hurrah! and it's got a new look, too... it's all kicking off over there!!) |
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Thanks, LJ! Was thinking of writing something different for the community, but since going back to school, have been swamped with schoolwork! Soon, maybe! 
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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yeah you'd better....  ******************************************* *** Hector the disgruntled tortoise was actually quite a happy tortoise until he was hit by a bus *** Honorary Member of the Hector Fan Club |
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Ninja look definitely suits you. 
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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...have you seen my ninja photos...?
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Yep.
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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my god! on live journal? ha ha ha, oh dear me. that was a strange, strange night.
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Yep. On livejournal. And it did look a strange night...
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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but SO much fun! I'll be vastly disappointed if midnight ninja hide and seek does not go ahead...
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When's that?
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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i believe we've planned it for halloween so that no-one calls the police on us... ******************************************* *** Hector the disgruntled tortoise was actually quite a happy tortoise until he was hit by a bus *** Honorary Member of the Hector Fan Club |
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Nice. Can I come?!
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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sure thing - if you'd like to explain to your parents exactly why you're sneaking off to london in the middle of the night dressed as a ninja... ******************************************* *** Hector the disgruntled tortoise was actually quite a happy tortoise until he was hit by a bus *** Honorary Member of the Hector Fan Club |
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Got it. "Mum, Stephen Fry, after writing him that letter, has invited me to a fancy dress party. I must go as this, a ninja, obviously!" **dreams**
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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You wrote Stehen Fry a letter?! 
******************************
Luv Loz
*Founding member of LMFAO*
*29th member of the Abby forum fan club*
*16th member of the Carby forum fanclub*
~*~Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't really following you~*~
~*~Its a mixture of Jazz and Funk - I call it Junk~*~
All you have to look forward to is unconsciousness; but you can never sleep - Jip, Human Traffic
Are you saying you want to be like me? Newbie, cant you see that, I just barely wanna be like me...? - Dr Cox, Scrubs
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Erm...no... **looks away, embarassed** ...but I am going to. One day.
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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why?
******************************
Luv Loz
*Founding member of LMFAO*
*29th member of the Abby forum fan club*
*16th member of the Carby forum fanclub*
~*~Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't really following you~*~
~*~Its a mixture of Jazz and Funk - I call it Junk~*~
All you have to look forward to is unconsciousness; but you can never sleep - Jip, Human Traffic
Are you saying you want to be like me? Newbie, cant you see that, I just barely wanna be like me...? - Dr Cox, Scrubs
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Because I find him amazing...
"One day my logic was proven wrong because the tide came in and gave me a sail"
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