Meg didn't know at that point about Annie's interference. That was the missing episode, remember.

Hey, thankyou Micks!

Episode 189

Caitlin is at home, moaning that Cole has betrayed her, despite her having done everything she can to end the relationship on her own. Olivia "comforts" her, whilst acting like a total b*tch, even more so since she's the one Cole was with in the motel room. Back at the motel Cole and Greggie argue pointlessly in circles, saying the same things over and over again, until finally Greggie starts talking about "sophisticated, suave jewel thieves". Huh?! This is Cole here. Not Remington Steele. Eventually Greggie swans off, like smugness incarnate, heading back home to find that Olivia has collapsed in a heap. Spawn calls Doctor Tyus, thus confusing Greggie no end when he walks in on Tyus examining Olivia to check on a pregnancy she doesn't have, because of possible difficulties she can't be having, relating to a non-existent medical condition she's faking, in order to obtain a baby that isn't theirs.

Michael and Bubblewrap. Oh dear. They meet on the beach to talk at length about how nothing in the world can prevent them from going to Catalina for the weekend. Yeah, right. Wanna bet?! At Surf Central, Virgina tells Vanessa that she and Michael will never make love "while I have anything to say about it". Okay... What are you going to do, Virginia? Hide under their bed? Actually, probably yeah. She and Bubblewrap have their usual arguments, but frankly who cares.

Which takes us back to Kansas, where Ben is still wearing the World's Worst Sweatshirt, and Annie has just arrived in a chicken truck. She and Tim decide to tell the truth in all things, and set out to Meg's house to apologise for everything. Nobody especially wants to listen though, and Ben seems a little confused. "What kind of love is it that makes you want to hurt the person you claim to love?" he asks Annie. Same kind as everybody else has in Sunset Beach, Ben. Haven't you noticed what half your neighbours are up to lately? Annie wanders off to the barn, to take solace in Tim's arms, where Beg and Men eventually find them after a complicated conversation about safe roads and journeys. For some reason Meg looks outraged to see Tim kissing Annie. Why?! It could be argue that you lose all rights to complain who somebody is kissing when you yell at them that you never want to see them again. But she gawps in shock anyway, for however long it is until the next episode. Ben smirks though, which is highly tolerant of him. Once your "Tour Of The Farm" reaches the bit where you're being shown what a barn looks like, smirking is usually the last thing on your mind.

**********

Episode 190

Caitlin is still moaning and moping and wailing. Elsewhere, Cole discovers Bette in the room next to his at the motel, and tries to grill her about… something. Not sure what. Actually I think the whole point of this scene is so that Eddie finds them together and assumes that they're still having the affair that they were never having in the first place. Back at Casa Richards Olivia is checked over by Tyus, who tells her that there's nothing wrong with the baby, whilst Greggie gets in a tangle about who is faking what, and whether or not the pregnancy is real. Meanwhile, Cole goes back to see Caitlin. She's sprawled on her bed, bawling, having just thrown their engagement ring across the room. Cole picks it up, and promises to tell her the truth about everything.

Virginia does her usual trick of arguing with Vanessa so that somebody comes in and thinks that Bubblewrap is the bad guy. In this case it's Jimmy who comes in. After Vanessa has departed to help Michael pack - you're only going away for the weekend for goodness sakes - Virginia tells Jimmy that Bubblewrap is dangerous, and is threatening to tell the police that Michael killed Jimmy's father. She persuades Jimmy that they must stop Michael going away for the weekend, which Jimmy does. Bubblewrap takes it all with good grace, much to Virginia's annoyance.

And Ben takes Meg dancing to the "Buckaroo", where lots or people pretend to be cowboys, and dance to nightmare-inducing music. Annie and Tim turn up as well, and they all spend the episode dancing disturbingly well. Ben (thankfully now sans the Cream Sweatshirt From Hell) dances like Patrick Swayze-gone-Western, which is a peculiar kind of revelation, and Annie seems to be confusing line-dancing with pole-dancing. Still, the over-all effect is rather good. Everybody enjoys it a bizarre amount, given that half of them are supposed to be at war with the other half, and Annie soon has a fan club. Sadly it doesn't include Ben, who is still gazing adoringly at Meg. Somebody hypnotise him again. Please.

Episode 191

Heavens above. Endless talk about Caitlin's love life and her baby. Greggie plots to kidnap the baby at birth and tell her that it's dead, if Olivia won't go through with his torturous baby-switching whatsits. His plots inspire some truly awful acting from Olivia, and his wild and furious yellings about the baby and the switching and all the rest of it raise serious questions about Caitlin's hearing. Or about what the walls are made of. Down the corridor, Cole tries to convince Caitlin that he's on the level, but she's still determined to think that he's evil. Oh, whatever. If he had half a brain he'd never have got involved with her in the first place.

And everybody worries about Gobby, though Casey at least takes the time to listen to Thickardo's side of the story. Eventually Gobby goes round to Thickardo's place to tell him that she'd decided not to press charges, though he's not wildly enthusiastic about her offer. Looks like he'd rather it went to trial. I understand that you want to be properly exonerated, Thickardo, but can't you just swallow your pride and save us from a tedious storyline? Gobby runs off to Mark in tears, playing the Oh Poor Gobby card again. Yawn. And Thickardo is arrested, and does a meaningful staring thing with Paula as he's read his rights. Oh, give over already. Somebody just give Gobby a good punch.

Episode 192

Oh Poor Gobby. Oh get stuffed. She rants, she wails, she gnashes her teeth. Oh, evil Ricardo! Casey and Michael hint that they might be taking his side, so she runs off in a tizz, and Mark gets all glowery. Meanwhile Paula tells Elaine that she thinks Thickardo might be guilty. Elaine goes to visit him in prison, hears his side of things, and reveals that she doesn't trust Gobby either. She goes off to visit Greggie, and asks him to take the case. Now see, I like Greggie. When he offers somebody some coffee he actually tips and pours from the jug for a decent length of time. Over at Surf Central they only pour for a fraction of a second, so they must be on some serious coffee rationing scheme there. Mind you, when the camera sneaks behind Elaine, we can see that she's drinking out of an empty cup. Invisible coffee?

Bubblewrap is surprised that Jimmy is now being rude to her, and realises that Virginia is up to something. Like a berk she confronts her about it, so we have our usual weekly exchange of pointless insults. Later Bubblewrap goes to the beach to meet Michael, and tells him that she's going to plan their next trip without telling him anything about it, as a special surprise. And a cunning method of preventing Virginia from interfering. "Two can play at this game, Virginia," she mutters to herself as she walks away. Yeah, but the point is that you play it really badly, Vanessa. And what if Michael tells someone that you're planning a surprise?!

And the Richards. Oh, the Richards. Olivia tries to get Cole to take Caitlin away, to avoid the Machinations Of Gregory, but he won't listen. He doesn't think that running away is the answer. Olivia clearly does, and spends the entire episode wailing to him about it, though she neglects to explain exactly why he should run away. So he doesn't listen. Meanwhile Greggie does his usual manipulations to make his children think he's the Best Dad Ever, and not a mad, manipulative machinator who'd easily put Machiavelli to shame. And yes, I do know that machinator isn't a real word. But it should be. Caitlin sobs in his arms about what a great bloke he is. Well, he's massively more interesting than anybody else that your bit of plot brings you into contact with, Caitlin, but let's not confuse that with loveliness, hey.

193 to follow. Some time.

Episode 193

Annie and Tim wake up in the back of a truck, covered in straw, smelling of pigs, and suffering the after-effects of last night at the Buckaroo. Annie is sad that her efforts to capture Ben's attention have all been for nothing, though Tim still seems convinced that he's in with a chance with Meg. Annie mopes for a while, before deciding that it's time to cut her losses and head back to Sunset Beach. She feels that she should try living her life without Ben as its single great focus. Realising that she will miss Tim far too much to want a protracted farewell, she leaves him at the Buckaroo, and revitalises her spirits by netting herself a driver with a little show of the charms that Ben has decided to turn down. Ben, you're a moron. And yes, that is said with affection. But still...

Elaine encounters Gobby on the beach, and accuses her of lying. Mark overhears and does his usual over-protective act, though it falls on deaf ears. Elaine says that she has never trusted Gobby, and tells them that she has asked Greggie to represent Thickardo. Boggy gobbles at this. Goggy bobbles at this. Whatever. She's worried, anyway. When Greggie goes over to the cop-shop to talk to Thickardo, he questions him for a bit, then agrees to take the case. He gets Thickardo out on bail, and Paula is less than delighted. She seems firmly on Gobby's side. Wazzock.

And Ben harangues Ludlow's local salesmen, trying to get hold of something for Meg. We're not told what at this stage. Back at the farm, Joan tries to convince Meg that Ben is in love with her. Er, with Meg, not with Joan. Though Joan would probably be a better choice. Meg doesn't believe any of it though. "Oh Ben. How can I believe in your love for me?" Oh yuck. Stop talking to yourself in wistful tones and believe the poor sap. Much though it pains me to admit it, he really does seem to love you. He arrives at the farm to prove this with an armful of white roses, apparently what he was badgering the salesmen about earlier - because, as Joan then crows, you "can't get white roses in Kansas at this time of year". What, they don't have Interflora in Kansas? Or greenhouses? Anyway, Meg tells Ben that if he really loves her he'll go back to Sunset Beach without her. She's convinced that it's Maria he really loves. He mumbles and argues and disagrees and growls, and then shouts at her "But you are Maria!" Which isn't entirely what she was hoping to hear.

Smashing recaps. Its soon the 200th episode, does anything exciting happen?

Could it be terror island?

terror island? not til meg's back in sunset beach me thinks..

what on earth is that thing gabi is wearing! eeew!

love meg's hair at mo, and actually felt a soft spot for ani when she was talkin to tim in the back of the truck! glad she finally came to her senses
and how funny that what gregory is planning, actually happens to olivia and him via annie! crackin!
i do feel bad that caitlyn will lose her baby though

Terror Island is ages away I'm afraid. And yeah, Gobby's clothing has been horrific lately! That collar!

Episode 194

Well, Channel 5 were having another of their "crap weekend transmissions in Gloucestershire" nights, but I'll do my best. Through a haze of snow, and what appears to be hordes of attacking ghost bees, Caitlin talks to her mother about whether or not Cole can be trusted. The sound cuts out occasionally, but Olivia seems to be flashing back to trying to persuade Cole to take Caitlin away. Caitlin talks about Elaine telling her that she should trust Cole, which makes Olivia suck her cheeks and sulk. Then they both disappear into a mass of grey and white diagonal stripes, so I don't really know what happened after that.

Bubblewrap turns up at Surf Central, looking to enlist Casey in her plan for secret weekend plans with Michael. Michael, meanwhile, is over at the Waffleless Waffle Shop, which is waffleless no longer thanks to Virginia's cooking. So I guess that makes it the Waffleless-No-Longer Waffleless Waffle Shop. Which is going to take quite some typing, so here's hoping that Elaine leaves soon, so I won't have to bother. Virginia flirts outrageously, which Michael doesn't seem to notice. Suddenly Casey rings up, I think to arrange for Michael to go and check up on some cabin he's been watching for a friend, which I guess is Sneaky-On-Behalf-Of Bubblewrap stuff. There's also much wobbling and hissing, which I hope is the transmission problem, rather than Casey himself. And either I'm hearing wrong, or the cabin is in Idlewild. Hmm. Rather too MOR for me. I'd much prefer a cabin in Queen.

And Ben is arguing with Meg over his sudden line that she's Maria. Meg runs off, taking shelter in the barn with Improbably Floppy-Haired Dad, who glowers at Ben and looks all macho. Not that it's easy to look macho with that haircut, and the constant rolling and flickering doesn't help. He lets Ben talk to Meg alone though, after some highly unconvincing attempts to look threatening. Ben explains that Meg is just what he used to think Maria was, until time proved him wrong. So you used to think that Maria was boring and annoying, Ben?! He flickers out of focus and vanishes at this point, but I like to think that the episode ends with him and Hank finally giving into all the glowering, and beating each other up so that the barn collapses on top of them in time-honoured Buster Keaton fashion, but I'm guessing that that's not what happens. I don't think the angry, roller-coasting ghost bees were really in the episode either, but they certainly seemed to be. Maybe they could join in the fight with Hank and Ben.

My vcr chewed up my tape when I rewound it this morning before I watched it

I can't trust my VCR anymore, either. It's been very hungry of late.

Episode 195

Okay. Minor problems with the transmission again, but bear with me and I'll do my best. There were a lot of gremlins, some serious picture-rolling, and very little audible dialogue, but using the finest satellite technology, investigative skills gleaned from episodes of CSI, and a little imagination, I'm sure something of use will emerge. So. Cole is about to tell Caitlin who the "other woman" is, but Olivia butts in. She winds up telling Caitlin that it's Bette. Poor Bette. Do a favour for a friend, wind up with everybody in town thinking you've been having an affair with the World's Wettest Jewel Thief. If I was her, I'd use that gossip column to link myself with somebody less pathetic instead.

Virginia is nuts. Officially now. Before she's just been simmering gently, but now her pot has finally boiled over. Realising that Michael and Bubblewrap are off to Secret Shenanigans without her, she figures out where they've gone and sets off in pursuit, anxious to stop them from sleeping together. Either that or she's desperate to save them from the ghost bees. One or the other.

And Ben is apparently suffering from a severe case of motion sickness, resulting from all the spinning he's been doing over the course of this weekend, as he's even more doe-eyed over Meg than usual. Yuck. They have some conversations that are no doubt deeply meaningful and important and loving and all the rest of that stuff, but I can't hear them, so I can't really comment. Unless they actually are just buzzing at each other, and it's not static that I'm hearing at all. Ben goes back to Sunset Beach in the end, all on his lonesome. Aw. Poor Ben. Now hide! Hide quickly, before she leaves Ludlow and comes after you!

**********

Episode 196

Virginia is still nuts. Potentially even more so than usual, actually. Incensed by the idea of Michael and Bubblewrap having a nice time together, she flips out in Virginia Is A Mad Mad Woman Mode, and sets fire to the cabin where they're staying. [Insert lame joke here about Michael and Bubblewrap having been looking for a hot time]. The cabin crackles and sizzles. Virginia's home-made nutty stew bubbles over, develops a life of its own, and takes over her brain from this moment on.

The ghost bees invade Sunset Beach. They buzz, they hum. They flicker and rattle chains. They perform their poltergeist duties with aplomb, and generally make a noise, get in the way, and move the furniture around with menaces. There may be something going on behind them, but if there is, it involves mad dancing shadows and diagonal stripes. Shadow puppeteers with hideous wallpaper? It's possible. For some reason there seems to be a serious snowstorm going on, too, which has got to be fairly rare in California. Perhaps some of the shadow puppeteers are meteorologists at weekends?

And Meg decides that she doesn't want to stay in "Ludlow, Kansas" without Ben, and gives up and goes back to Sunset Beach. Aw. Shame. Sadly this means we're saying goodbye to Joan and Hank Of The Unlikely Hair, at least for the time being. And I never did get my Hank And Ben Fisticuffs. Oh well, there's always another day. And possibly the gremlins will have put the plug back into Channel 5's aerial by then. It makes recapping a whole lot easier when you can see what it is that you're supposed to be reporting on.

quote:

The ghost bees invade Sunset Beach. They buzz, they hum. They flicker and rattle chains.

Marley and Marley...Oooh!
Marley and Marley...Oooh!

Doh! for some unknown reason, I set the timer for Wednesday .

Wednesday?! Poor RN.

And look! Becky has found her way back into the thread!

Episode 197

Caitlin argues with Cole yet again about whether or not she can trust him. He asks her to listen, and she screeches that all she's done is listen to him. Huh? 'Listen' in what sense, exactly? 'Listen' as in, 'Refusing to listen and generally acting like a total moron', apparently. Eventually she tells him that it's all over forever, right before she walks in on a carefully engineered conversation between Greggie and Eddie, talking about how Cole may still be a thief. She runs off to ransack Cole's bedroom, and finds a safe deposit key. Meanwhile, Olivia and Bette make fairly unfathomable plans concerning the Mad Plans Of Greggie, and Greggie sets everything up for Olivia to go to a special pregnancy clinic, where hopefully nobody will notice that she isn't actually pregnant. Even though she is.

Michael and Vanessa attempt to smooch, but a power outage during a thunderstorm freaks out Bubblewrap, so Michael goes outside to fiddle with the electricity supply in the soaking wet. Great plan. Meanwhile, courtesy of Virginia, the bedroom catches fire. Bubblewrap tries to fight the flames with a small dishcloth, despite the presence of a fire extinguisher. Fortunately Michael does at least have part of a brain cell, and attempt to do the job properly, before an old lamp explodes a bit, and sets everything off again. He goes to look for a hose, and tells Vanessa to call the fire brigade. Despite speaking on a mobile, she chooses to put in the call whilst standing right beside the fire. I think somebody needs to do the Basic Fire Skills course again.

And Ben and Meg decide to start again from scratch, and so proceed to ask each other dim questions about Kansas. They bond over Chinese food, and it's all excruciating. The bonding, not the food - Ben at least seems to be enjoying that, although Meg never takes a bite. Probably because she's trying to each rice with a pair of chopsticks, for which Ben eventually commends her on her tenacity. Tenacity? I was thinking more along the lines of 'stupidity' myself. They agree to take it all easy, and Meg goes away looking dreamy. Urgh. Maybe she'll fall in the sea on her way home.

**********

Episode 198

Thickardo wants to take a lie detector test, to prove that he didn't rape Gobby, but Greggie convinces him that it's up to Gobby to be taking tests like that. He goes to meet with her, and attempts to convince her that the test would be a good way for her to pull out of the prosecution without losing face. Gobby panics at the idea of facing Greggie in court, and his suggestion that they can end all of this out of court obviously appeals to her. She agrees to take the test.

Cole turns up at the Richards' place looking for Caitlin, but she's gone off to empty his safe deposit box. Either she's planning to convince the bank that she's John Robie, or safe deposit vaults are really easy to con your way into. She goes in under the pretence that she's taking something out of her own box, but surely that's only going to work if the second key held by the bank is the same for all the boxes? Which doesn't sound very secure. Anyway, she empties the box. Back at the house, Cole speaks to Spawn, trying to make him see that he's being played for a fool by his father, and that Tiffany's departure was probably down to his parents as well. Later Spawn confronts Greggie about this, whilst Caitlin confronts Cole round at his place with the contents of his safe deposit box. She's not a happy bunny. Neither's he now.

And Vanessa and Michael return from the cabin, apologising profusely to Casey, and to Casey's friend over the telephone. Casey's friend isn't insured, so Bubblewrap makes plans to pay for lots of wood, and get Michael to rebuild bits of cabin. Virginia sits in the corner and smirks like a mad woman. Vanessa can't understand how the window came to be open to blow the candle over, when she knows that she closed it, and she remembers feeling like she was being watched whilst at the cabin. She suspects Virginia, but Virginia has an alibi in her old South Central neighbour, Mrs Jones.

**********

Episode 199

Vanessa goes around to visit Mrs Jones, and check up on Virginia's alibi. Mrs Jones says that Virginia sat up with her all last night, as she's been sick. Bubblewrap frowns and scowls and tries to work out how Virginia could be going marauding around the countryside setting fire to holiday homes if she was sitting in South Central at the time, and she's clearly not entirely convinced by the alibi. She's got nothing to go on at the moment though, even if Mrs Jones has quite clearly told her several times that she was asleep all the damn time, so Virginia could have been doing anything. Virginia sits at home and smirks in satisfaction at having got away with all. Mad as a bucket of weasels…

Greggie slides out of Spawn's accusations about Tiffany's departure, and Spawn believes everything that his parents say, as usual. Meanwhile, Cole thinks that he's convinced Caitlin to go away with him for a while, to give him a second chance. Delighted with this, Olivia gives Cole some going away money, so that they can get set up somewhere together far out of Gregory's reach. Caitlin has no intention of going away, though, and instead plans to go to the clinic with her mother, thereby neatly playing into Greggie's hands. Not playing into Greggie's hands, however, is Gobby, who has successfully convinced the lie detector test that's she's telling the truth, thanks to some long buried memories of an apparent actual rape. This turns Paula into a vengeful harpy, and makes Thickardo desperate. Sunset Beach is clearly the one place in the whole of the world where polygraph tests are taken to be foolproof.

And Ben and Meg meet for an elaborate breakfast that Meg then announces she can't eat, as she's got a meeting with Greggie. Should have turned up earlier then, shouldn't you. They go off for respective Greggie Meetings, where Meg is immediately offered the job of Executive Assistant at the Liberty Corporation, her relevant experience being waiting on tables and pouring drinks. Wish I could get a job that easily. Ben and Greggie are awaiting the arrival of a mystery new partner in the Liberty Corporation, who has turned up out of the blue. "I hope it's somebody that we can all work with," says Greggie. Needless to say, it's Annie, who sweeps into the room with a cheerful smirk, leaving Meg looking like a startled owl. There's lots of staring. Presumably they'll get around to actually saying something next week.

It's the thread vortex, pulling me in.

Thanks

Episode 200

Cole packs excitedly for his planned departure from Sunset Beach with Caitlin. Elaine comes in and realises that he's going, but can't quite understand why he feels that he has to. Back at the Richards' house, Olivia is desperately trying to convince Caitlin to go away with Cole rather than with her to the clinic. Explaining why might be a good plan, Olivia. She won't explain why, though, and Caitlin cannot be convinced. Eventually Olivia asks Bette to warn Cole, and he dashes around to the Richards' house to speak to Caitlin. He bangs on the front door, but they won't let him in. Berk. Why doesn't he just go around to the permanently open French windows, where he usually gets in?!

Vanessa and Michael try to smooch in the JavaWeb, since their attempt at privacy got all burnt up. Virginia comes in, doing her usual "I'm The Nicest Woman In The World, And Not At All As Mad As A Bucket of Weasels" Act, which, as usual, only Bubblewrap sees through. She's there on a mission today, though, and gets Jimmy to help her look Vanessa up on the Web. She's got dastardly plans in mind, and since in Sunset Beach you can do anything on the Internet, she's probably got some new grand scheme already well underway.

And Annie sashays in to Greggie's office, bitching splendidly to everybody, annoying Greggie, making Meg pout, and making Ben even more brooding and taciturn than usual. She explains that she has found a codicil to her father's will, which was mysteriously delivered to her in the post. It grants her his share of the Liberty Corporation stock, and she's not eager to be a silent partner. She bitches to Meg a bit more, and then a bit more, and then when Meg asks to be left alone with her for a while, she bitches a bit more. Well, it's always worth seeing. Eventually she sashays off again, and Ben starts Meg off on her new career by having her go for a walk with him on the beach. So, not only does she get a grand corporate job just because she's dating the boss's best friend, but she also gets to not do any work. Great. Why can't I live in Sunset Beach?!

Episode 201

Cole bangs on the door of the Richards' house, whilst Olivia and Caitlin nip out the back and drive off together. Greggie and Spawn hide behind a secret door in Greggie's office, so that when Cole eventually gets in, he can't find anybody, and disappears off somewhere else. Meanwhile Caitlin and Olivia head off to the clinic, bonding with small talk about pregnancies and whatnot. Olivia stops the car so that she can call Bette and try to work out some way of getting Caitlin to go away with Cole, instead of going to the clinic. While they're talking, Cole dashes in to Bette's house and grabs the phone, but Olivia just hangs up. But you wanted him to… oh, never mind. Back at the house, Greggie calls in Eddie, asking him to investigate Annie because of her new interest in the Liberty Corporation. Eddie refuses, saying that Annie has been messed around enough. Er, yeah. By you. Greggie points this out, and Eddie comments that maybe he could have treated her better. Eddie, you tried to murder her. And you tried to have her killed in jail. And you nearly got her raped by a psycho prison guard. Come on, this isn't exactly model behaviour, even in Sunset Beach. He does sort of make amends by warning Annie, though, and suggesting that she keep an eye on Greggie. Clearly she likes this idea very much indeed.

At Surf Central, Gobby can't understand why her polygraph test showed that she was telling the truth about being raped, given that Thickardo didn't actually rape her. Well, you know, that could be because at no point did the questioner actually mention Thickardo. "Were you raped by an authority figure that you trusted" is hardly specific, is it. Thickardo goes to talk to her, and she begins to relent, not wanting to go to trial in the slightest. Mark turns up though, and she immediately switches to her Oh Poor Me, Isn't Thickardo Scary act. Yawn.

And Annie is at home, gloating about her stocks and shares, when Uncle Charlie arrives. Uncle Charlie was Bette's third husband, apparently, and reminds me of Chris Sarandon for some bizarre reason. So he's cool, obviously. He tells Annie that there's an addendum to the codicil - if she's not married by June of next year, she'll lose all of her shares. Annie is furious, and decides that she's going to find a way around this. Charlie isn't hopeful that there is one. Bette turns up. She has no purpose to the plot, other than to crawl all over Charlie and ruffle his hair, which leaves him looking like an easily embarrassed Catholic priest who's taken a wrong turning and ended up in a brothel. Poor Charlie. Harassing him and getting him flustered is clearly a favourite hobby of Bette's, though.

**********

Episode 202

Virginia and Bubblewrap do their usual glaring thing, and mutter about the mythical South Central newspaper article that Vanessa has supposedly been writing since the series began. Virginia goes off and breaks into Bubblewrap's house, searching for who knows what. It's Bubblewrap's own stupid fault, though. Why do people on TV always hide a spare house key in a damn silly place?

Cole confronts Greggie, and they have fisticuffs. Greggie lets on that he knows about Caitlin's pregnancy, and claims that he knows everything. Cole makes a big deal about knowing something that Greggie doesn't know, but he's not going to say anything about him and Olivia, so he might just as well shut up. They fight a bit more. Upstairs, Spawn finally gets suspicious and goes through Greggie's files. He finds that Olivia wrote a cheque for Tiff, which was never cashed, and figures out that Tiff was forced to leave Sunset Beach. "Even though she meant everything to me!" Yeah, but you never even noticed that her head had changed. He follows Cole after the fight, and offers to help him find Caitlin, so they bug Greggie's office. Spawn hears Greggie's plan to have Caitlin's baby taken, and have her told that it's dead.

Annie decides that it's All Attention On Greggie Time. She patches him up after his fight, and then goes off to chat with Tim, who has just arrived back in Sunset Beach. She wants to use him as her secret weapon to Greggiedom. Silly silly silly Annie! If you have to marry somebody, why not make it the guy you can hardly keep your hands off, and who is available? And who likes you? A lot? Rather than the married guy who thinks you're a pain in the butt? Tim, meanwhile, is anxious to make amends with Meg, who's more interested in the three hundredweight of white roses that Ben has just decided to have the JavaWeb redecorated with. Because she's in there. Doing research for Greggie. Nowhere at the offices of Sunset Beach's biggest business has internet access?! Ben whisks her away for a ride on a gondola that he's had built, or shipped over from Venice, or something. There's lots of goofy grinning, and even some babbling. Yeuch. Silent sulky Ben back please. Now.

Episode 203

Michael and Vanessa make out, until Michael remembers that he has to go help Casey build things that got burnt up in the fire. Just as well, really, as Virginia is spying on them and their proto-lovemaking - and talking t